I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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