Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
