that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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