I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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