My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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