I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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