I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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