i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize