Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
