3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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