Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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