sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
