All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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