Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize