I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
