census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
