I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize