He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
