i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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