Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
