I want to walk on stilts...naked
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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