You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
