I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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