im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
