Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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