Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
