i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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