Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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