he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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