At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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