apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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