I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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