Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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