In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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