If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I wish there were birth control emojis
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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