don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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