I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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