and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize