You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
