I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
