in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
