using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
