Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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