Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
