i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
