dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
