Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I booty called her while she was in labor.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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