So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
