I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
