WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
