careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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