belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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