and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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