Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
