:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
My penis needs a shock collar
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
