We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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