O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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