she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
