You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize
