he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize