WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
