I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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